How to Help Loved One w/ Postpartum Depression?

By Nada Stotland, MD, MPH

Postpartum depression simply means depression occurring after childbirth---any time from days after to up to a year after the birth of a baby. 

When we diagnosis depression---at any time in life---we don't mean the kind of "down" mood everybody experiences from time to time. We mean a real disease that causes symptoms including interference with sleep and appetite; thoughts of death; guilt; lack of interest in the activities of life; inability to feel pleasure---every day for weeks. It's a very painful, but fortunately very treatable, disease. 

Depression is particularly painful for a mother with a new baby. People are often telling her that this should be the happiest time of her life, that she should appreciate her good fortune in being able to conceive and bear a child when many others have so much trouble. 

Other people---and even the new mother herself--may also confuse the symptoms of depression with the inevitable interruptions of sleep and meals by the demands of a newborn and the common concerns about being a good mother. 

It's important to distinguish postpartum depression from postpartum psychosis. Postpartum psychosis begins within days after birth. The new mother with postpartum psychosis is seriously agitated, unable to relax. She is haunted by irrational ideas about herself and the baby--ideas, for example, that God wants her to send the baby to heaven or that the baby is a devil of some kind---and sometimes by irresistible urges to harm the baby. Postpartum psychosis is rare; it occurs after far fewer than 1% of births. It is a medical emergency. 

When postpartum psychosis is suspected, the new mother must be seen immediately by a physician, preferably a psychiatrist. 

Postpartum depression seems to be caused by a combination of genetics, the abrupt changes in hormones after birth, physical exhaustion, and the strain of adapting to a new role and the reactions and demands of friends and family. Postpartum depression is often a continuation of depression that was present, but not recognized, during pregnancy. In our society, we take it for granted that we shower medical and social attention on the pregnant woman---frequent visits to the obstetrician, baby showers---when all she has to do for the baby is to take good care of herself. 

After her baby is born---when she is exhausted from labor and delivery and when she has responsibility for the 24/7 care of a helpless infant--all that attention falls away. She may live far away from supportive family members. She may either have to go back to work before she is ready, or may feel isolated, away from the familiar duties and social contacts of the workplace. Usually there are no postpartum visits from nurses, and quality childcare is expensive and hard to find. Postpartum depression, although it occurs everywhere in the world, may be more common in our country for those reasons (occurs in about 15% of U.S. births). 

Postpartum depression can be successfully treated with psychotherapy and/or medication. Group therapy reassures the new mother that she's not alone and others are going through same issues. Family and friends can play major roles in the new mother's recovery. They should remind her that she is not responsible for her depression, and she can recover from it. 

Helping with her baby can be useful, but it's not a good idea to take over baby care completely; that will just make her feel more inadequate. 

It's better to take care of the mother herself. Offer simple diversions, like an outing, but without expecting them to treat depression. We don't want to make her feel unappreciative. Sympathize with her grief over missing the joys of new motherhood. Remind her of all the lovely things she planned and did for the baby before it was born, and point out what a good mother she is working to be. 

Depression makes people feel helpless and hopeless, so she may need encouragement to get the professional care she needs. Friends and family can help by contacting her family physician or obstetrician and by locating a mental health professional available to treat the new mother. With proper care, she will probably start to feel better within a few weeks.

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